|
| We did something fun tonight--
Our whole family piled into the living room each reading their own books. It was a Grisham re-read for Steve, The Mood Cure for me (fascinating and helpful both), and I had pulled a stack of books for each of the boys. We all lay on our bellies facing each other in a circle and read in silence. I was planning to get a book for Paxton, too, but he was already in bed. =) Of course we had to remind the boys to be quiet, but it was pure bliss to:
--all be together
--be reading books. (It's a little horrifying to me when I realize how much of my reading is done on the computer.)
--have a quiet time to read while the boys were also awake.
--exercise the discipline of being still
It was the first time,but I hope there will be more evenings like it. The boys lasted for fifteen-twenty minutes. There was also a dramatic reading of My Many Colored Days and The Relatives Came. (If you haven't read the latter, you really must. The illustrations are as much fun as the story.)
Recently I've realized the boys look at books much less often since their books are kept upstairs instead of right in front of them. We keep our library books and a Bible story book in a basket downstairs, so those get read more often. I would like to find ways to make reading a bigger part of our life again.
We are really super-spoiled when it comes to library access. The city library system has over thirty library locations. I can look up about any book I want online and have it sent to the location about 2-3 miles from our house. Also, if we pick up books at one library when in another part of town, they can be returned it to our local library. The one downside to our libraries is that they don't have play areas like most libraries I've known. They normally have little tables, and that's it--no train table or wooden toys. Maybe the signs on the front door have something to do with that--Children Must be accompanied by an adult. This is not a childcare facility.
Last week one evening we were at that point where I was making supper...the boys were restless...Paxton was a little fussy. Stepping outside often has an instant calming effect on babies which gave me the idea to have Paxton sit in his swing. I sent the boys outside with a few books to be close to him.
The scene couldn't get more precious--or so I thought.
Then their daddy came home, and my heart nearly burst.
| | |
| 
| | |
| In an effort to catch you up on the last couple weeks of our life I present:
SUNSHINE:
the beauty of a new baby boy!!!
Paxton Kai
He was born two and a half weeks ago--a present that made the packaging [some of the most difficult months of my life] into something definitely worth opening. I can hardly believe the preciousness. He is sweet and soft and kissable...and cuddly and hug-able and darling...and so CUTE! We love him to bits.
I had passed my duedate on Sunday. It didn't bother me as much as I thought I would. Somehow the thought of labor seemed so dreadful that in the daytime I would think I could keep enduring for awhile (I was progressing nicely which made me think it was okay to slowly labor along and hopefully have the actual labor be pretty short). Then at night I would cry to think enduring another night. I slept on the recliner the last several months because my back hurt too badly to sleep in bed. Some days were pretty miserable, too, sometimes worse emotionally than physically even.
My mother-in-law was here about a week and a half before he was born. Having her here gave me peace of mind that we wouldn't be without someone to watch the boys while I was in labor. (I had cooked up a stressful picture of Steve in the hall with the boys and me laboring alone. Hey, it was a scarily possible scenario.) Having her here also helped distract me and keep me a little more positive (not that I was a Pollyanna or anything close!). Having her here also meant that our house stayed spotless and the laundry was all done and we had good food to eat and the refrigerator was kept catalog-worthy-neat, and LOTS of meals were put into the freezer, and I got to sleep in every morning. I felt spoiled, and I lapped it up.
Finally Tuesday--two days after my due date, the second week when she was here, and closer and closer to the day she'd need to leave without even seeing the baby--I concluded that after months of laboring this body of mine just was not going to kick into actual labor on its own. (It never has, yet, in three pregnancies!) I called in to the midwives' office and asked if I could please have an induction--today. :) Not demanding or anything. They are a super, super natural thinking group. I was afraid that they wouldn't allow me to be induced until after 42 weeks. Well, they didn't call me back until late in the afternoon. Surprisingly, (or maybe not after my last visit...but that's a whole other story and this one is already getting way too long) they were very willing. The hospital was full for the evening, but we scheduled for 8:00 the next morning. I was already dilated 5cm and 80% effaced, and the plan was to break my water and go from there.
In my first two pregnancies, I kind of had similar stories only both times I had gone straight from a routine visit to the hospital. It felt a little strange to go home and have time to think through everything and pack everything up. Kind of nice, though! I was afraid that once I actually committed to a time I'd freak out. Instead, I felt super relieved that finally, finally, finally the end was coming and we could meet our baby.
Things went much slower the next day than I expected. Before, breaking my water had brought on labor with a boom, and this time it was a slower build-up. In retrospect that may have been a blessing. I didn't do so well with it emotionally, though. (I just deleted most of the birthstory. I can never quite settle on what is over-sharing on a blog. :/ I guess if you're interested I can message you. :)) It ended up taking a little over six and a half hours which has been my longest labor so far. The whole day I was in a bit of a mental fuzz and really tired and a bit shaky. The birth seemed surreal to me. It took a few minutes for me to really believe that it was over and our baby was really here!
Then I got another surprise--
He weighed eight pounds nine and a half ounces!!! Our other babies were two and three pounds smaller and 2-3 inches shorter, so he seemed so chubby and...big!
And he was SO. CUTE! Normally in the last few weeks I start bracing myself that the baby might not look anything like I imagine...and then he just blew me away. How can we possibly have such a beautiful baby? :)
[The moment we met]
   
[Our room with a view (and a room with little else)] Delivering in a large city hospital really did have a different feel from the small town (what I used to think was a "big" town) hospitals I'd delivered at before. The nurses were nice, but it is obvious they see lots and lots and lots of people.
   
 
 
 
Zachary couldn't stop smiling that night when he and Ian and Grandma Smucker came to meet Paxton. He wanted to know where we got the clothes and if he was wearing a diaper and if he had come out with a diaper on. Ian was just as happy pushing the buttons on my bed and eating a graham cracker he found on my tray. Zachary still is very happy to see him, loves to hold him and talk to him. Ian mainly goes on with life as it was before. Occasionally he comes to give Paxton a kiss.
Coming home from the hospital was a lot nicer than I had been expecting. Instead of coming home to things just like we'd left them (some laundry in the hampers...this and that here and there...nothing for supper...) we walked in to a calm, clean house. Grandma was reading story to the boys. The floors were swept. There were flowers on the counter. Supper was ready to eat. All of it was very, very lovely. Being served is always such a nice gift, but I appreciate it even more since I am on my own so much more than I've ever been before. Even the smallest act of service feels huge to me!
The next two weeks were full of the normal adjusting to a newborn. Lots of feeding, lots of diapers, lots of cuddles, naps, and food. My mom came two days after Steve's mom left and was here for about a week. It was wonderful to have her here, of course.
Always I am planning to take LOOOOOOOTS of newborn pictures because they change so fast! And just like normal I got caught up in newborn life and didn't take pictures. :( Kind of sad about that.
The first couple days after Mom left were a mixture of ca-RA-zy--things like a little boy coughing till he vomits as I'm trying to get ready to go to the pediatrician--and calm--sitting on the couch sipping hot tea, holding Paxton, and watching Zachary and Ian play.
 
Wednesday my friend Jennie and her girls came over for the day. Their family has been here for most of January; her husband has been volunteering at City of Refuge. It has been super good to have them around even though I haven't gotten to see as much of Jennie as I was hoping because of the new baby life. Anyway...I was so looking forward to the day, and hoping we could squeeze in lots more before they leave. Zachary and Kenzie were super friends from the moment they met.
We did have a nice day together--she held Paxton while I got in a mid-morning shower...we sat and talked...our children played...we had lunch and talked some more. Really fun and good therapy. :) Not too long after she left, I noticed that Paxton's head seemed really warm. I briefly wondered if he might have a fever, but his hands were cold and I dismissed it. He had slept eight hours the night before, so I was also a little surprised that he had been so sleepy all day.
  
Later that evening I realized his head really was hotter than it should be, and took his temp--101.8! I knew it was a risk if newborns had temps over 100, so I called his doctor. I had left a message with the receptionist who called me back in two minutes to say we should take him to the emergency room. I was soooo tired that evening...I can't even tell you how nice it was to be able to call Jennie and have them come stay with the boys! It was so nice to not have to be strong and take Paxton in on my own or then try to entertain the troop for a few hours in a hospital!
I was kind of expecting the fever to have dropped by the time we got there and be sent home with a few precautions. On the way in, he was sort of squeaking with every breath and was obviously uncomfortable. I've been to this emergency room before and waited up to three hours before being seen. This time we were given some priority. His fever had risen a degree, and they were concerned!
With newborns fever can be a sign of bacterial infections and since they're so tiny that can't give other symptoms to help doctors pinpoint what's wrong. SO...they do a whole workup to be sure to rule out everything. Poor, poor baby had to have blood drawn, an IV port insert, catheter for a urine sample, and--worst of all--a spinal tap. I absolutely cannot handle seeing people, especially babies, subjected to pain. Was I EVER glad to have Steve there. I conveniently stepped out of the room to update people on what was happening while still batting back tears.
 
They soon pinned down what they thought was a UTI. Still he would need to stay at the hospital until the other tests results came back. While we were waiting for some of the procedures and results, I ran home to get what I needed for staying at the hospital. When I got back, Steve was holding Paxton while he got his first dose of antibiotics. We swapped places, and Steve went home to stay with the boys.
After another dose of antibiotics and some waiting we were transferred to our room upstairs. It was after midnight, and we still had to go through a long admissions process. By the time everything was finished and Paxton had been fed and settled for the night it was 1:30 before I could settle in for the night.
 
His bed and mine
 
His little hand was all bandaged up to protect the IV port.
 
The first day he slept a lot. I spent a lot of time rocking him, and tried to sleep a little. I had thought it might be quiet, and I could catch up on emails. Tee-hee. Not so much. By that afternoon when I knew I was going home for the night I thought it might seem quiet at home. With two boys? Tee-hee. Not so much. Just different kinds of busy activity and noise. It WAS restful to be at home, though! I was glad to be able to spend time with Zachary and Ian, too. (They couldn't come visit because they were both coughing.)
Jennie had been staying with the boys, and they had a super fun day. When I got home she had homemade potato in the fridge that we could eat for supper and insanely delicious, still warm chocolate chip cookies! Steve and I swapped out the next day and the boys went to work with him for a few hours. Paxton had had a rough night and that was sort of the story the rest of the time there. He hardly had any time when he'd stay asleep in bed--just cried so much. The night was exhausting, and the next day I couldn't eat breakfast or do anything else. Any time I got him quieted and started getting things together he'd start crying again. We thought it might be the medicine upsetting his stomach. I felt so sorry for him, but I was about out of endurance, too. I stood crying over his bed while he cried and waved his arms and legs...then picked him up again. I called Steve who said he would come in. He left the boys with Seth and Jordan and came about an hour later with lunch. After eating I felt a lot better, and after a really good nap, almost like a human.
We got a diagnosis Friday afternoon: hydronephrosis. They said that often when a baby boy (yes, gender specific) has a UTI there is a structural abnormality. After taking a look at his kidneys via ultrasound, they discovered his right ureter was swollen a bit (stage 2). If you check out the article I linked with the word hydronephrosis above, you'll get a better idea of what this means than if I try to explain it. The next thing they need to find out is whether this is simply an isolated incident (hopefully!) or whether he might have reflux. I had never heard of reflux in this area of the body even though I am all too familiar with acid reflux. Well, the concept is pretty much the same. The urine sometimes flows back up to the bladder, to the ureters or up to the kidneys. They don't know what causes this reflux, but they do know that it can cause hydronephrosis and sometimes scarring in the kidney. (I kind of like saying that word--one of those I stumble over--hydro...hydro NEPH.ro....hydro.neph.RO.sis...hydro.neph.RO.sis...and then it rolls off my tongue and I want to keep saying it.)
The reflux is diagnosed by grades from 1-5 with five being the worst and when they would likely need to do surgery to correct it. At grades one, two, and sometimes three they don't really treat it. From three on up, they may prescribe a low-dose antibiotic for six-twelve months as a preventative for UTIs. That does not sound very cool to me; I don't like the idea of pumping that much antibiotics into his body. Since the dilation is way up directly under the kidney, from what I understand, if he does have reflux it's probably at least a grade four.
This week at the follow-up visit with his pediatrician she will then order a test to see whether he has reflux and if so, what grade....and we go from there.
Okay, I need to wrap this up. I've been writing in shifts, so I'm not sure what I've said. Paxton was able to come home last night. Was it ever wonderful to hold him without any wires restraining us....and to see him dressed in his own cute little clothes...and to wash his hair...and to be HOME...and to have our family together again! The week ahead looks sort of big. Paxton has a few appointments. I'm still regaining strength so I'm not quite the tough soldier that I used to be. Also Paxton can be so fussy that it's hard to find time to eat sometimes, and I need food! :) He had a better morning today, so I hope he'll keep improving. His antibiotic changed after they got the culture back which might help.
Please pray--
that he doesn't have reflux...or for healing
for emotional and physical strength for me this week
for stability for the boys
I'm especially grateful--
that Paxton's illness was not life-threatening
friends available to help us in a desperate time
for a GOOD night of sleep last night. I felt like I needed two nights back to back. I slept so deeply and (between feedings and little boy attention) until 11:00 this morning! I actually felt rested up which after losing so much sleep was rather amazing.
| | |
| Snuggled up on the couch with our two boys.... Zachary lying to my right with his head resting on a wadded up throw. Ian curled up on my lap with blankie and puppy held tightly. Reading several chapters of The Long Winter to lull them to sleep. and, this, I think, is what I pictured when I dreamed of motherhood. | | |
| A few pictures of life-- One day I found him dancing on our bed. Watching himself in the mirror, dancing, dancing... So sweet. I wish we could all be so pleased in who God created us to be. 
Okay, actually these are reeeeally old pictures. Starting in August with our anniversary:  
Nine years. Keeping it low key because someone ^^ was very tired. Sweet time together--alone together which is a rare treat for us....dusk, lights, fountain, good food, music. It was all nice. Her loving him by not being grouchy about elbows on the table. Him loving her by not being embarressed when she took pictures--and even taking some for her.  
26 weeks? Something like that: Not the best preggie pose. Would anyone else find it a teeny bit frustrating if weight was just falling off her husband while she was pregnant and putting on the pounds? 
Zachary trying to fly: 
 
THE BEST entertainment this summer--goggles:  
He would spend up to an hour in the tub after we bought these. 
Talking with Grammie:   A most wonderful dinosaur birthday:  
Overpopulated (cheapo) dino cake compliments of the five year old. We didn't have the fun of lots of friends at the party, but we had presents from Virginia which made it extra exciting! The best part was seeing how much he loved every single bit of the party. He kept thanking us over and over that afternoon. 
   
On Labor Day a friend called to see if we would want to go to the aquarium/dolphin show with him if he would pay for our tickets. How about--definitely Yes! We had been wishing to go since we moved. It's the largest in the world, they say: 
 
 
shrimp: 
 
  
These two cute little boys had their own electronic gadgets, and I didn't even know what they were. An ipad?  Dolphins are exceptionally beautiful animals! Read the "No Photos During Show" sign after we got out. Ooops.  
Two year old session: Such a sweetie. This was past his naptime, and just after getting a few shots at the doctor. He's just now...really getting into that classic two, I-can-do-it-myself, and I-have-an-Opinion stage.  
 
 
Well, that's a pile of pictures, and none of them are from October. Hmm. Another day... Here are a few things I need help with-- Moving and packing advice. I'm normally so much more organized and on top with packing. Now it feels like my brain is in a funk. I keep thinking it will not be a big deal to just quickly pack at the end and take things over. I hope that's true. It really doesn't feel like as big a deal since the house is only five minutes away because I've always done long distance moving. Things won't need to be packed as well, and marked and charted... Still it really seems I should get started, and I can't even think where to start. I don't feel like I have the energy to put into it, but if I'd have a clear vision I could at least do a little bit! Baby names. Normally I have a list that I like. I do have one first name and one middle name I like, but they don't work together. Steve is too preoccupied with the house to think of naming someone who will not join our family for about ten weeks, yet. Zachary has suggested Wilbur and Roman--which is a clear indication I need another source. Cooking brown rice. I'm beginning to prefer brown rice to white by a rather wide margin. That is, when I get it cooked well. Sometimes it is perfection. Sometimes the water cooks up and the rice is still crunchy. Normally I cook it for 40 minutes with a least twice the amount of water to rice--sometimes a little more, plus a little butter and salt. Sometimes I soak it for a few hours before cooking. Is there a fail-proof method out there? | | |
|
Visit A Page in the Life of a Mom
Visit Hope and Rest